Allow me to be that guy who for once ignores his emotions and patriotism and just says WTF.

A few weeks back, there was big fanfare orchestrated by a lot of Indian media outlets regarding a homegrown web browser called as Epic. I was a bit skeptical already, but after downloading and using Epic, I outrightly recommend reading those reports as a case study in technology sensationalism. I’m not putting down the Epic packaging, as a one click browser suite it has quite done its job. But what puts me off are the claims that this is India’s answer to Mozilla! But hey, the browser IS Mozilla’s, just that they have packaged a few utilities, plug-ins and wallpapers into one single pack. It is not a new browser, and it definitely is not the hallmark moment marking the maturity of Indian software.

This is not the only example. After this came the $35 palmtop. This time it wasn’t just the Indian media that jumped into the bandwagon, I saw such reports even on foreign news outlets like BBC News and The Guardian. I don’t really know how this $35 laptop is going to work out, especially since we import most of the hardware from China. Haven’t these journalist had the sense to look up the status of some of the other low cost appliances the Indian government announced a few years ago? I’m talking about the Simputer (to be fair, it was atleast insignificantly successful), the under $100 computer and the numerous other projects. They are all paper tigers that didn’t seem to have seen the light of day. I sincerely do hope that I am wrong and our Government actually builds this. But I’ll believe it when I see it.

And does anyone remember Bhuvan? Touted as the Google Earth killer. I haven’t even been able to get it working so far. After all the media hype surrounding this, I don’t even find a mention of that now in any of the newspapers or by the government.

What we need to do is to encourage the REAL projects that came out from India and Indians. Like Zoho or Varamozhi or Quillpad or MashiThantu or Posterous (atleast in part). Why don’t these awesome products never get a mention anywhere in the media? Sad!

I was lazing around in a nostalgic mood watching an old Malayalam movie on TV and was a bit surprised when my dad interrupted and told me to get ready, ‘We are going to see an astrologer’. Astrologer? Hmm. My parents and astrologers?… something is awry somewhere. The only relationship my parents had with astrology as such is probably celebrating our piranal based on our birth stars. Apart from that, despite my dad being very interested in spirituality, I have never heard him talk or hint about anything related to astrology. I agreed to it anyway, a bit puzzled, but with kind of an idea where this was going considering the discussions I had with my mom the previous day.

So I was greeted on the door by a very serious looking, but by no means intimidating, old man. First thing he asked me was ‘ഈശ്വരനില്‍ വിശ്വാസമുണ്ടോ?’.. ‘Do you believe in God?’. Hmm. Great question. I told him ‘Kind of’. Uh oh! Wrong answer. He went on into a lengthy discussion into that subject. He started off with the exact same argument that I use to convince people about some of my controversial stand points – “I was like you once, I didn’t believe too much in that either. But then…”. That usually works, but not to me ;). Anyway this got me thinking – where do I exactly stand? Do I really believe in God? Off course I do. I can neither prove God’s existence, nor can anyone prove otherwise. To me there God is something that I probably will not be able to truly understand, but I firmly believe in the existence of a power beyond our thoughts and beyond our science. As an engineer, yes I would have been very happy to find proof or some tangible evidence. But being an engineer also makes it easier for me to understand that not everything can be explained by science.

Having said that my God is not really the same as your God or the astrologers God. What the old guy told me was that God is someone to be feared. Feared? Why? Respected – yes. Feared – no. I see God as a friend, like those imaginary friends that all kids in Hollywood movies seem to have. Someone I can talk to in my mind, someone I can talk to anytime, anywhere, anyplace. I don’t believe you need to go to a temple, a church, a mosque or a synagogue to see God. So what does that make me? I’m sure I’m not an atheist, neither am I am agnostic, but as I once replied to my ex-roommate Bachu – maybe I am a non-religious devotee. And ironically that still makes me a Hindu – even an atheist is a Hindu and I am at least one degree above that, I do believe in God. In that sense I am proud to be a Hindu then. I don’t see the need for religion in my life, but I can understand why it makes sense for a lot of people. And maybe it is needed, a blueprint for life, maybe. But I just fail to understand why religion makes some people fanatic.

Coming back to the astrologer, the main purpose my parents took this unusual step was probably to give hints to me that I’m slowly getting into the ‘wedding years’ bracket. But ironically that didn’t help, because the astrologer told us that it’s best that I get married only after 28. I suddenly love astrology ;)

PS: Disconnected thoughts, but I just felt like writing this :)

A few years ago, I had an email conversation with my friends regarding life in Bangalore. Most were of the opinion that it was just too trashy and mundane a life and that the main reason for that was the city itself. I had more or less concurred with those thoughts there. But many days and months after, I think I’ve slowly started coming into terms with Bangalore.

I come from a sleepy suburb of the small city of Trivandrum, with all its old world charm. Compared to Bangalore, the hustle-bustle, the traffic and the noise is almost non-existent there. So I was brought up, being used to a bit of peace and quiet. The transition to the metro life of Bangalore was quick, and it wasn’t a very easy one. It was like you had gone fishing beside a serene lake and then suddenly getting kicked into a Metallica concert.

One thing Bangalore gave to me (and a lot of us) is freedom – financially and otherwise. Used and misused it, and in the meanwhile enjoyed it a lot. It gave me new meanings to life and allowed me to see things in other dimensions. I appreciated all that but still it never felt like home. I could never imagine a settled life here. There was always a feeling that I was a stranger in a strange place.

But that was some time ago, and time changes perspectives. I spent last week in my dear own Trivandrum celebrating Onam with my family. It was good, but strangely for the first time really, I started badly missing Bangalore – the congestion, the traffic, the crowds and everything associated with it. That was when the realization came that I had indeed accepted Bangalore as my new home. Bangalore has now become the routine, and Trivandrum the (welcome) aberration. They say home is where the heart is… I guess I have learnt to give some part of my heart to Bangalore… 3 years down the line.

I would describe myself in the weight attribute as a little bit over average; 5 to 6 kilos above the technical norm for my height. And I am pretty consious about that. So when my friend Anu told me that she had undergone this magic diet going by the name “GM Diet”; I thought if it shaves off some kgs and since it lasts only for a week, why not give it a try. So I did.

Surprising myself; I actually managed to more or less follow the diet up until the sixth day with minor altercations. And I did loose 2 kgs (though the claim from Anu was atleast 4kgs). But the thing that interested me the most was why would General Motors; the car manufacturing company in dire straits; come up with a diet plan? With the “Internets” at my disposal; I went searching. And as I suspected; GM had nothing to do with their namesake diet plan. That too from the reputed New York Times. So why did I still follow it? I saw no harm at that point of time and the article writer himself said that he too had lost a few pounds.

After the whole experience though; I would suggest not to do it. It’s not worth loosing 4kgs in a week only to gain it back in half that time. Though I’m not an expert in the way the human body works; I suspect such rapid cycles of weight-loss and weight-gain would not do any good for your body. The best thing to come out of it though was a no non-veg week after a long time (I took the vegetarian diet). I don’t feel any rejuvenation of the mind, the soul or the body after undergoing it, like various sources on the net claim it to do.

Lesson? Nothing beats exercise. If only GM had come up with a plan to cure laziness! :(

It is a very strange point in my life now. I turn 25 in less than 2 weeks; and if you ask me: Am I what I wanted to be at 25? I am undecided.

This is a season of changes for me. Friends getting married; people going off far far away; my parents almost into retirement. And me? Well; I am just going where the wind takes me; rudderless. I suppose that’s not how it should be once you are 25. You need to have a sense of direction I suppose; but even as I write that; it is extremely difficult for my mind to consider that reality. My friends tell me I still act like a teenager sometimes and some others say I act like a 50 year old. Maybe they are right. But what’s a 25 year old supposed to act like? Well – I am even more confused.

The easy-go attitude seems to be very difficult to shake off for me. Nothing affects me profoundly; despite my outer mask suggesting otherwise. You call me; I always pick up. There’s no bad moment to talk to me. I have seen many people tell; this is a bad time to talk. But honestly I don’t remember a moment (ok one; but that’s it!) when I’ve said that. Others of my age have already started tackling life’s difficult tasks and they already have had that turning point but I am somehow stuck. I started building a house on my own (“my own” is relative) and I thought such a huge responsibility would mean that would make my life change. But it didn’t. Even that for me seems to be a snippet for conversation with my friends and nothing more. It doesn’t give me the tension I wanted it to give me. But no. Not even that. Some people say that’s a good thing; but no; not for me. I am bored; I need some stress to cure it I suppose and to feel like not being an alien in a strange planet.

I have a job I like (despite peer pressure to not; hating your job seems to be in-fashion); I have a steady income; I am surrounded by friends; I have a supportive family and my problems are miniscule compared to others’. Even then I feel incomplete. Every single day; even the productive ones; even the entertaining ones; seems to be one more day wasted. But “wasted” vs what? I am unable to define that.

Is this my quarter life crisis? I think so… and I have no clue as to what the remedy is. Here’s going back to where the wind takes me… see you at the next place I crash into.