The world seems to be filled about posts on Anna Hazare and Lokpal; maybe the last thing that you need is to read one more armchair analysis. It’s a free world though; so I need a place to write and you might not need to read this. So stop here if you think you’ve heard enough! :)

First of all, I give it to Anna for clamouring this much support. It’s no mean feat to rally around so many people for a cause. Have to appreciate that. But is the cause good though? Giving it a naive glance it would seem so. But things are not so simple in the real world. The real world doesn’t comprise of writing blogs, tweeting tweets and liking posts. The real world is a lot different. The real world is a lot more complicated. And I don’t think Anna’s cause is going to have desired effects. Let me try to explain why.

Indians, you and I, have a culture of corruption inbuilt in our genes. It’s not just the politician who’s corrupt – that bracket includes the common average Indian. A simple example. You are caught at a traffic signal violating the red light. The policeman who catches you red handed gives you two options – pay Rs 100 to him and you walk free or he gives you a ticket that needs to paid in court. What would you choose? I bet 90% of you who are reading this would go for option 1. We are inherently corrupt and are willing to sacrifice our principles to cut some corners. That’s the only practical way we know of dealing with such a situation. I myself remember just 2 instances in my life where I have given a bribe. I did have plenty of oppurtunities where I could have bribed.. when I got my passport, when I got my DL, when I built my house – but I never paid a penny. I feel strongly about that; but then again I believe I was just lucky. I never was challenged enough in such situations. If I would have been; when I think about it; I might have paid. Even with so many ‘set’ principles in my head – I admit I’ll be corrupt if the situation demands it.

There is a general misunderstanding that only the person who accepts a bribe is corrupt. The person who gives the bribe is equally responsible. Corruption in India therefore needs to be solved from the bottom levels before we go into tackling it among the highest authorities. Frankly, I don’t see it making any difference at all. I read posts saying that the day Lokpal is passed; India’s going to be transformed overnight into Singapore. Bullshit. In fact, from the way I see it, it’s just going to be the opposite. An Indian does stuff only if he sees an incentive for himself in it. Very very few people are selfless or are keen to be professional in what they do. Applies to politicians, applies to government servants, applies to you, applies to me. Sadly, I think the whole motivation behind a lot of development activities in India is because the people responsible for it see an opportunity for grabbing something for themselves. If they think they’ll be caught; they’ll not take a bribe; they’ll just not do the project also. That’s where India is going to lose. There I said it! – India has actually benefited from high level political corruption. Sad, but true. Corruption is what drives development in India.

Ok, so that was my rant. What is my solution sitting in an armchair? Forget about the guys at the top level. Eliminate the root causes of corruption at the lower levels. Increase the salary of the policeman, the teacher, the clerk, the secretary and every single government servant. So that they don’t feel the need to be bribed to do their job. Atleast some of us would be converted – I’m sure. This may still be naive; but not as naive as telling me that having an additional bureaucratic engine would solve the problems of corruption in India. That would eventually just become another set of officials that need to be bribed. One more obstacle.

Corruption is not a problem that we can afford to solve at this moment in my humble opinion. We as a nation are not at that stage. There are a lot of other pressing problems like poverty, infrastructure and education to solve. Corruption is too big a challenge and too expensive to monitor and eliminate at this point. We’ll someday reach that stage. But we are nowhere near that now.

And like it or not; India is a democracy. Arm twisting the government isn’t the way to get things done in a democracy. Having no politicians is worse than having bad politicians. Think about it.

Let’s be civil. Let’s think of a practical solution to our problem and not indulge in foolishness.

Allow me to be that guy who for once ignores his emotions and patriotism and just says WTF.

A few weeks back, there was big fanfare orchestrated by a lot of Indian media outlets regarding a homegrown web browser called as Epic. I was a bit skeptical already, but after downloading and using Epic, I outrightly recommend reading those reports as a case study in technology sensationalism. I’m not putting down the Epic packaging, as a one click browser suite it has quite done its job. But what puts me off are the claims that this is India’s answer to Mozilla! But hey, the browser IS Mozilla’s, just that they have packaged a few utilities, plug-ins and wallpapers into one single pack. It is not a new browser, and it definitely is not the hallmark moment marking the maturity of Indian software.

This is not the only example. After this came the $35 palmtop. This time it wasn’t just the Indian media that jumped into the bandwagon, I saw such reports even on foreign news outlets like BBC News and The Guardian. I don’t really know how this $35 laptop is going to work out, especially since we import most of the hardware from China. Haven’t these journalist had the sense to look up the status of some of the other low cost appliances the Indian government announced a few years ago? I’m talking about the Simputer (to be fair, it was atleast insignificantly successful), the under $100 computer and the numerous other projects. They are all paper tigers that didn’t seem to have seen the light of day. I sincerely do hope that I am wrong and our Government actually builds this. But I’ll believe it when I see it.

And does anyone remember Bhuvan? Touted as the Google Earth killer. I haven’t even been able to get it working so far. After all the media hype surrounding this, I don’t even find a mention of that now in any of the newspapers or by the government.

What we need to do is to encourage the REAL projects that came out from India and Indians. Like Zoho or Varamozhi or Quillpad or MashiThantu or Posterous (atleast in part). Why don’t these awesome products never get a mention anywhere in the media? Sad!

I along with a lot of fellow Indians were shocked and disgusted at what happened (rather is happening) in Australia to Indian students. It was indeed an outrageous incident. And the Indian media was ready to jump in and go ahead with an all-out attack on the Aussies. That was reasonably expected behaviour considering the trigger-happy nature of our media and their undying thirst to proclaim – “Your channel brought this to you first”.

Now while this is happening; I wonder how many of us looked in the mirror and pondered how racist we too are. How comfortable are we with people from other countries living amongst us? Let alone that; how comfortable are we to have people from other states living amongst us? The honest answers would be in different shades of gray. But as I see it; in the overall picture every one of us has some racism inside. As we put pressure on the Australians to protect our citizens; it would also be good to think about how we can make ourselves better. After all ‘Adhiti devo bhava’ shouldn’t be limited to tourism department ads.

I read a comment in one Aussie newspaper the other day that summarizes my thoughts pretty well – ‘Every country in the world is racist, but most are experts in acting that they are not. The best we can do is to improve our act.’

Update: Read Jug Suraiya’s post too. Totally agree to what he’s said.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire, many days before the hype started to engulf it. Maybe that’s the reason why I loved this film. It’s a story about love, about spirit. about determination and also a story about India. And I was happy that it won a few Oscars and happier when ARR and Resul got the recognition on the international stage they have deserved.

But I hear a lot of dissent growing against the movie. I read articles like this and this. I hear some of my friends and colleagues telling me it is bad advertising for India. Maybe it is. But are we all really blind? Or experts at putting things under the carpet. I guess every single one of us understands that these things still happen in India. It is not falsifying facts, it is just showing the negative part of the truth. Yes even I am proud and overwhelmed by the strides India has made in technology, space exploration, IT, pharmaceuticals, spirituality, business.. But doesn’t all that gloss simply hide the patches of rust underneath?

For me Slumdog is a movie that also acts as a reminder. A constructive criticism on how we manage to ignore some bare facts about our country. Take pride in glory, but don’t ignore the dirt.

A few weeks ago one of my German friends, Juergen had come over to India. I spend a few days driving him around and showing him places. Well as for any foreigner it did take a while for him to trust the way we drive – it progressed from a scary horror thriller to ‘I don’t know how, but I won’t get hurt’. He used to even call me ‘hell-raiser’ when it comes to driving, even though that upped my ego a bit, I don’t think I am that good :D . One of the things he was confused from day one and something that he never quite got used to is our seemingly random honking. He used to ask me, last time when we went on this road you honked at least once every 5 seconds, but now you didn’t honk for an hour – why? Well he hasn’t quite caught up to the method in all the chaos and I see that there is no authentic guide to honking in India, anywhere on the net. So I have decided to take up the challenge and here you have it.

1. Presence Honking
This particular type of honk is usually of short amplitude and used with high frequency. It is a very polite way of telling the others on the road that you are ‘there’. It is kind of like an animal marking his or her territory. The meaning of it varies with the size of the vehicle too. If it is a bus that is using it, it means – if you cross my path you are dead. If its a motorbike – if you cross my path I am dead. All other variants come in between.

2. What-the-****-are-you-doing Honking
This is a rather impolite but effective way of abusing your fellow road users. It is second in frequency only to Presence honking. Using it always gives a boost to your ego, declaring it yourself to the people around you, that you know everything there is to know, when it comes to driving. This is best done in short bursts of very high loudness and honk-length.

3. Traffic-Light Honking
This is used in many different scenarios at the traffic light. One use is when you think that the person in front of you is blind and has not started moving yet when there is only 5 seconds to go for the light to turn green. Another is rather supernatural or spiritual. It is based on the belief that if you honk a few times, the red light will turn to green faster. It doesn’t harm you to try it does it?

4. The Enquiry Honk
This is even more polite than variant 1. A very polite way to enquire whether you get the right of way. It is used while you try to overtake or is not sure who has the right of way in an intersection. The answers you get and the manner in which you get them can be very varied. You must have the presence of mind to choose the appropriate path of action very quickly or alas you are again dead.

5. The Pointless Honk
Ok, this happens usually when you are annoyed with your boss, or had a quarrel with your wife. You use this horn to vent out your inner troubles. But be very careful as to when you use this. If timing is wrong this type of honking can be easily mistaken for any of the above four variants and cause unexpected page faults. (sorry had to put in a Com. Sci. PJ in somewhere :D )

Yup, that would have prepared you a bit to take on the roads in India. Now all you need is quite a huge amount of courage and a lot of luck. All the best!

PS: Hell.. they should start giving out PhDs for driving in India. It has so much of science and art in it! :D